Dirty Ebay

The above picture of this table was posted on Ebay. Yet, despite the beautiful arrangement, the person posting it is not a woman, but a man.

How can we tell?

Answer coming in two days.

The Light Of Reason

HIV does not cause AIDS. Watch this:



Go to Alive and Well for more information.

Trolls

I write because I have an actual love of the practice. I have a degree in English, much to my father's dismay, because I love the language. Writing for me takes many forms; I write scripts, I have a couple of novels on the backburner (who doesn't?), and I sometimes write poetry (again, who doesn't?). Blogging has, for me, been a nice diversion; a way to write compact mini-essays about the world around me. It's like a diary, except in expanded form.

I also enjoy reading and commenting on the blogs of others. Commenting becomes an extension of the piece; sometimes details are fleshed out, and other times a brand new topic arises from the comments of others. I view it as part of my responsibility to make sure that the voices of others are heard by me, to encourage them to continue to write so that they can have the same enjoyment I receive.

However, the thing that confuses me are those pathetic, worm-like infantessimal pricks out there whose sole contribution is to jump onto blogs and make ridiculous and usually inflammatory comments. They usually do not have a blog of their own - they wouldn't want to expose themselves to retaliation - and it is quite doubtful that they have any meaningful and unique thoughts of their own anyway.

Do these people have nothing better to do in their miserable lives than spend a Saturday night cowering anonymously on the internet like a shriveled, impotent cock and disparaging the work of others? What pathetic and insecure mentality needs such sad gratification?

I am very grateful to have met many of you; I am constantly surprised at the genius I see in many posts and comments. But to the trolls out there, crying desperately for attention, I recommend that you find a therapist, a girlfriend/boyfriend, a friend, or a gun.

Life's too damn short for the likes of you.

Ugh

Is this really true? CNN reports that George Bush (a.k.a. Satan the Devil) intends to send 21,000 more troops into Iraq.

He has a remarkable power of denial, does he not? It might even be admirable, if he wasn't the personification of evil on Earth.

Let's see... every country on the planet wants the United States to pull out of Iraq ... a huge percentage of Americans want the United States to pull out of Iraq ... Congress wants the United States to pull out of Iraq.

So the answer seems obvious to everyone, except to the dumbest human being who is able to breathe on his own. You know, the idiot who (somehow) happens to be the leader of the most powerful nation on Earth?

I am shocked, not only by the blatant disregard Bush has for the will of the people for whom he works, but also by the fact that nobody, American or foreign, hasn't blown the head off of this fucking shitstick. I mean, someone shot the Pope just for blessing people, and Hinkley shot Ronald Reagan simply because he liked Jodie Foster. You would think that someone like Bush, someone so thoroughly evil and corrupt, would have attracted a few people armed with a gun or nuclear warhead.

According to the article, those 21.000 will be deployed next week. Let the carnage begin.

The Blessing of "Children" - A Review

This might end up as the shortest movie review ever, and certainly the shortest anything to ever come from a billowing windbag like myself.

Some things need no words. In short, “Children of Men” is brilliant.

The film, a devastating look into the near-future collapse and extinction of the human race, is seared onto the screen with unflinching bravura by director Alfonso Cuaron. Endless adjectives could feebly attempt to describe his techniques in this film, and fail utterly; suffice it to say that a better directing job has not been seen in theaters in years, if not decades. Two sequences in particular will be required study by film students from now on. Absolutely stunning.

Briefly, the film presents a glimpse into a future in which women are infertile, and the human race nears extinction. Society collapses. Then, a girl named Kee is found pregnant, and it becomes the duty of an office worker named Theodore (Clive Owen) to ensure her safe passage through the war-torn land and into the hands of doctors who can save her child, and humanity.

The performances are completely real. Owen shines as a man numbed by the world around him. Julianne Moore, as Theodore’s ex-wife, has a small but grounded turn. And Michael Caine nearly steals the film in the role of Thoedore’s best friend, a pot-smoking philosopher.

The world Cuaron creates is totally submersive; you are surrounded on all sides by decay, grime, hatred, and shocking violence. The special effects integrate perfectly into the hand-held shots, and some of the long, long takes in this film are so incredible in both their immediacy and technical complexity that I can scarcely believe that he pulled it off. As simply a technical exercise, “Children of Men” is a landmark achievement.

Without a doubt, “Children of Men” is the best film I have seen in several years. A remarkable, towering cinematic experience.

To The Hilton

For the latest movie news, including my recent feature about "Godzilla," go to Obsessed With Film!

Lately I have found myself wandering over to Perez Hilton to gawk at the tawdry, unseemly gossip, rumor, and innuendo that oozes gloriously through every pinkly-glowing pore on the site. Actually, in all honesty, I go there every single day, and no amount of bathing or counseling can make the shame peel away.

Perez Hilton is one of the true success stories in the blogging world; his site averages nearly four million hits A DAY. He built this massive promotional and money-making machine over the course of one year while sitting in a coffee shop because he couldn't afford internet in his apartment. The VERY openly gay and pudgy Perez, through snarky antics and tireless work, made himself such a success that his Frankenberry face showed up as host of MTV's New Year's Eve telecast. Amazing.

I drew all over that picture of Perez because that is what he's famous for: drawing cum and/or cocaine in the mouths and nostrils of celebrities, especially those in the closet, like Wentworth Miller. Take this, for example:
While I do find much humor in what the guy does, the public outing of celebrities is unacceptable. As a gay man himself, Hilton should know better than to publicly harass and out famous people who are obviously not comfortable with melding their sexuality and their professional lives.

Hilton has made a good living out of trashing our celebrity trash, and I have become one of the addicted masses. Like heroin or McDonald's, Perez Hilton is a habit, and one that I will probably shamefully crave until the day it kills me.

I hate myself.

King of the Dipshits

The following article can also be found on the best movie website on the internets, Obsessed With Film. Check it out!!

I must be some sort of idiot; I never cared much for Stephen King.

Not as a person, mind you - I’m sure he’s nice, even though he’s got that creepy, “guess what I’ve got buried behind the shed” vibe to him. But as a writer, he leaves much to be desired.

Yeah, I realize the guy’s made more money than several countries put together, and his novels have razed enough forests to put them just behind cars as the most dangerous threat to the environment. That doesn’t mean that he should clear a space on a shelf for any major literary awards; he has made a lucrative career out of pandering to the lowest denominations of readers, and then selling his repetitive, hack-stained plots to Hollywood.

The reason for my rant on Stephen King arises from the top 10 movies of the year he posted on Entertainment Weekly. There, at number 6, is “The Illusionist.” I wasn’t too kind to the Edward Norton magician drama in my review. But that’s not the problem. The thing that spins my canteloupe is how King states that he was “compelled … back into the theater at once to see how (he) had been tricked.”

Huh????

Folks, “The Illusionist” contains a “twist” so absolutely cliched and obvious that the film could have starred Lillian Gish and Buster Keaton, silent without subtitles, and it could have been deciphered. By a fetus.

Why this shocks me is the real mystery. The entire catalogue of King novels can be broken down into two basic formulas:

(Writer) + (lives in Massacheusetts) + (attack by non-living object) = BLOCKBUSTER

- or -

(Writer or writer as kid) + (strange power) + (a past experience) = BLOCKBUSTER

King cranks out about 20 of these babies every year to keep the ol’ factories a-hummin’. Perhaps the guy is so immersed in his slop-tossin’ schlockfests that he rarely sees movies, which might explain how he missed the blatant, simple-minded machinations of “The Illusionist.” Maybe he fell asleep, missing the vital clues which underlined the single and only “twist” of the film. Or maybe he had a disastrously-timed mini-stroke as a result of the crash a few years ago, rendering him unable to grasp simple logic for the running time of the film.

All good possibilities. Me? I simply think he’s just as dumb as his readers.

Baghdad Burning

My friend ryk over at Abandon Mythology has a pointed blog entry about the inconvenient "situation" in Iraq.

Click here to read the whole story

He directs us to a blog written by a woman living in Baghdad and sees the atrocities firsthand. She could probably use encouragement, so go to Baghdad Burning and give her some! Just don't tell Bush about her blog ... he'd probably love to launch a missile at her computer, just for the hell of it.

Don't forget to become Obsessed With Film!