Things I Loved About My Childhood - Part I

They simply do not make cool children's television anymore.

Every Saturday morning I awoke around 6 a.m., made a bowl of cereal, and scampered downstairs to watch television until noon. It was the only block of time I ever devoted to television; the rest of my time I played outside. But those six hours of television...ahhh...nothing like it.

Back then, kids actually had television made from equal parts of imagination and heavy drug use. It resulted in some bizarre television.

Let's see... you had a boy with a magic flute who ends up on Living Island, protected by a giant dragon/policeman and pursued relentlessly by an overly made-up disco bitch named Witchiepoo...

I am, of course, referring to "H.R. Pufnstuf." Just look at that picture and tell me that you don't immediately think DRUGS.

And then there was the show about a boy who befriends a piece of seaweed and takes it home to live with him in his treehouse...

This one, of course, was called "Sigmund and the Sea Monsters."

But the spaciest show of all might be "Land of the Lost." Sure, it had totally cheeseball production values, horrid acting, and crappy sets; that's what made it SO DAMN GREAT. The show had the scariest villains ever for children's television: the evil, reptilian Sleestak...

The show revolved around - well, let's just play the damn theme song...

Ahhh...those wonderful yesterdays when children's television existed to ENTERTAIN kids, not (A) try to teach them boring life lessons or Spanish, or (B) try to sell them a fucking toy. If these shows did anything , it caused kids to use their imaginations and exercised their ability to fantasize and create wondrous new worlds and open up exciting possibilities.

Somebody needs to make shows like these again. Hmmmm... looks like another project!!