Greatest Female Vocalists - Number TWO

Once again, I am counting down my five favorite female singers of all time. We all love lists, don't we??

Here we are so far:

Number FIVE: Sinead O'Connor
Number FOUR: Anne Wilson
Number THREE: Tina Turner

Have you guessed my number ONE yet? Not a chance in hell.

Number TWO:
Etta James

Sure, she's damn ugly, but when the woman opens her mouth, a four octave masterpiece emerges with creamy smoothness. Etta might have the best vocal control of any singer ever - it's effortless and mesmerizing. Etta epitomizes soul, blues, pop, and rock in one stunning package.

Here she sings "Something Got a Hold Of Me" with such raw intensity and soul that Janis Joplin would piss her panties if she ever had any on. Too bad about that eye makeup, though...

Her signature tune is "At Last," which has probably graced every single Nora Ephron chick-flick ever made. This is a recent live version - the video sucks, but her voice makes up for it. Notice how her voice has deepened into a sexy, powerful instrument over the decades...

And just for comparison, here is Christina Aguilera singing the same song, except with about a million vocal ticks and tricks thrown in for not-so-good measure. Etta shows that true female vocalists do not need to rely on histrionics - you want to hit the right notes, but the main job of the vocalist is to essay the EMOTION of the song, not try to impress people with vocal gyrations. Thank you Mariah Carey for ruining a whole generation of talented female singers like Christina.

As Christina would say, we arrrrreeee onlyyyyyyy one oh oh oh oh yeaahhhh aaaaawwwaaaaayyyyy fffrrrrroooooooooommmmmoooooohhyyeahahh number one oooooh yyeeeaaaahhhhh!!!!

Figured it out yet?